Miscarriage #5

This happened in November and December 1997.  I was pregnant and VERY ornery--much more than usual pregnancies.  In December they found it had died 6 weeks before.  I was grossed out that a dead baby had been in me for that long and wanted it out, fast.  They did a D&C.  Man was very sick with the flu for Christmastime and I had just miscarried so it was a somber Christmas that year, thinking of things more important than lots of presents.

Then in February 1999 Kallie, our last child, was born.  YEA!!!!

Miscarriage #4

This was March 1992.  This time I had been to the doctor and he had found a heartbeat.  My girls had a Primary activity watching a movie, then we were going to leave for to Pleasant Grove without my man this time.  I thought I would let the girls hear the heartbeat before we left, so we all went to the doctor's office.  He couldn't find the heartbeat, then he said, "Now you'll probably worry all weekend."  I wouldn't have if he hadn't of said that.  So I felt that the baby had died.  I told my family in PG but they didn't say, "I'm sorry," or "That's too bad" or anything about it.  I was so sad that no one said anything that I went and bought myself flowers.  When I got back to Preston I got an ultrasound and the man doing it just kept typing (that it had died) and I felt so sad.  I had to have a D & C, and lost lots of blood there.  I was anemic and listless for a while.  Man and I went to the temple with Terri and Bruce Spackman not long after because it was ward temple night.  Terri's a great lady.  I wasn't feeling too perky.

Then next was Sheena in June of 1994.

Miscarriage #3

This was the most traumatic of my miscarriages.  Earlier in the year of 1990 I had a "nervous breakdown" and it took a while to recover.  I was still recovering when I found out I was pregnant.  But this time it was different.  The blood coursing through my legs made it feel like they would explode.  I wore support hose in August to help that feeling.  I was extra ornery and sick.

I went to Pleasant Grove to stay with Mom and Dad Hilton to go to a Church Music Conference at BYU.  Mom kept telling me to talk to a Card girl to learn what happened to her.  I didn't have time and I yelled at Mom to leave me alone (very unlike me).  I felt bad and later apologized.

When I got home, later in August my morning sickness stopped and I figured the baby had died.  But tests said that I was still pregnant.  In October I started in regular labor pains.  My doctor was out of town, so I eenie-meenie-minee-moed a doctor in Logan and Man took me down.  I was sitting on the doctor's table when I felt a pop inside me like a balloon bursting, then I felt fluid down on the table under me.  The doctor came in, took a look there, and panickly yelled for a nurse.  I think I was bleeding so they put a towel between my legs and wheeled me over to the hospital and I had a D&C.  Before they took me over they showed me my little boy in a vial.

Later the doctor told me that it looked like I'd had twins.

This is what I felt about that.  I feel like the first baby was a sweet girl who loved her mother so much that she knew I couldn't handle twins, so she checked out to let her brother grow.  That was when I stopped being sick in August.

Then he couldn't continue and miscarried.  I think that maybe he was alive and moving after the sack "popped" inside of me.  So he got his body on earth.

Before I thought he got his body I wanted to be pregnant so he could come to earth.  But I had another miscarriage, then a girl, then a miscarriage, then a girl, and never could have any more.  So he's waiting in heaven for us to raise him.

That sweet girl that miscarried first I feel was Sheena.  When she was young she would have an unexplained fever every month.  I took her to a chiropractor who works with things in your past.  I asked him to help heal her of her giving her life for her brother, then his dying, that she wouldn't be mad at him.  He did that.  She never got fevered like that again.

Another chiropractor said that she tried to be born three times from me, which is very unusual.  She really needed to be my girl.  I'm so grateful to have her, the sweetheart!

I remember being so sad about this miscarriage and Kristen said, "Mom you will have a baby in two years."  I thought, "What a sweet four year old to say that."  It really helped.

I also had a neighbor, Andrea Smart, who have given birth very early to a baby and he had died.  I went to talk to her.  She showed me mementos of him and pictures of them with him.  Talking to her helped heal me and her a lot.  Very good communion.

Miscarriage #2

I was pregnant again (May 1987), but the ultrasound didn't find a heartbeat.  They said it was a
"mole" http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000909.htm .  They gave me medicine to try to have it come out, but it wouldn't.  I ended up with a D & C the end of July, I believe.  I didn't like the thoughts of a mass in there all that time.

Then next was the great blessing of Lauralee in August of 1988.

Flaming Gorge-- July 2009

We just got back from a heavenly trip to Flaming Gorge in our new old motor home.

Giving Thanks

Since my daughter blogged about Thanksgiving I thought I should, too.

Our tribe (minus Stephanie and Morgan) met up with most Andersens in Riverton (SW Salt Lake City) at a church. The problem was that another family reserved it online and we reserved it in person and the two didn't sync. But we pulled the plastic curtain to divide the big gyms and all was well.

We had 45 there. We took 4 dozen rolls, butter, and raspberry and strawberry jam.

I wanted to play basketball, volleyball, cards with the girls, Primary with the middles, and coloring and balloons with the littles. I also had all our Christmas music, but didn't get to that.

Oh, how nice and relaxing it all was. I actually got to feed new baby Raylee her bottle, too. HUGE BONUS, as she's still in the only-mom-or-dad-hold-her stage. Kallie got to hold her, too, the luck out!

EVERYTHING tasted heavenly--potatoes, gravy, turkey, cranberries, two pecan yams, hot rolls (white and brown--ours), good water. Then later all kinds of pies, cobblers and ice cream. YUM!!!!

I'll see if pics will upload.

Then we visited Keilee & Romone Vaughn and there were also Logan's tribe and Aubrey's tribe there. Aubrey's due with a girl April 4th, 2012.

We overnighted at Kristen's while Sheen & Lauralee slept over with the other teen girls at Whitney's.

My youngest and I visited KMart the next morning, only to stand in lines for more than an hour for the two times we bought. They said my receipt would be on email. IT'S NOT AND I'M MAD. I don't even know how much each thing cost. hmmmmmmm.....

We met up with Dave's (Hilton) tribe later Friday night, then ate out at Carls, Jr., with Dave, Seth and Levi. Levi's taller than Seth now. Seth's a freshman ambassador at Utah State. He loves his medical sociology (alternative med) class right now. Levi is STILL healing from his crushed elbow from Flaming Gorge. He just had his 4th surgery, I believe. They are still trying to kill the infection in it. He has a pick line under his right upper arm and has to school from home for the many times a day he has to get antibiotics in his line. Wow! He needs some heavy duty fasting from us all next week.

Markelle Andersen needs our fasting, too. She has a bone tumor by the knee in her right leg. It's pretty big, about 2" x 1 1/2". The doc said to leave it alone right now. Kind of scarey.

Our amazing home teachers, Nancy and Jay Jensen, challenged us to give only prayers of thanks before and during Thanksgiving. That has been a great blessing to me. I've felt so much more grateful than ever before. On the drive south on Thanksgiving day I read many scriptures about Thanksgiving, thanks, and gratitude. That helped. Did you know David (pre-sin) gave a great prayer of thanks when the altar was brought to the temple? Read it in 1 Chronicles 16:7-26, pp 569-571.

I started a new medicine, Abilify, 3 weeks ago. I only take 1 mg, but it's helped me incredibly to actually accomplish and finish things, and remember better. It almost makes me a tiche manic, but I'm working on that.

That's it. Love you. There's SOOO much for which to be thankful.

Love,

Suz

For the Church

Miscarriage # 1

MISCARRIAGES: #1 I've had 5 miscarriages--one was twins--and 5 D&C's. The first was before children. We had been married 4 months and had gone to Flaming Gorge to be with family. When I told Mom that I couldn't handle seeing chicken, she said, "You're pregnant!" I had no idea. I was. The end of July I started bleeding. I checked in with my doc. He said, "Go to bed to save this baby." I was in college and had to take mid-terms. How could I go to bed?!? But then I decided I could for the babe. I was given a blessing that it could go fast if it needed to go. Within a couple of days I started into very painful labor. I realized this after I had had children. The problem was that it was the day I was going to meet my new brother-in-law, Bryan. The family had plans to go to the temple. I couldn't go, so I sent Lawrence. I hoped he would really hurry home. It was a Saturday and I couldn't check in with the doctor again, I would have to go to the emergency room. Finally my husband came, they had templed and gone out to eat, and I cryingly scolded him for leaving me so long. We went to the emergency room. They put me on a relaxer and did a very painful D & C in the ER room. The next morning we went to his parent's house and I met his brother and family. We took family pictures. I look at those pictures and realize the sadness and experience in my eyes. I felt like it was a babe who needed a healthy body and this wasn't healthy enough. I got pregnant again within two months and this babe carried full term. It was Stephanie! She has a very healthy body and has a hard time knowing when she's sick. Her appendix was about to rupture once and she was hurting some. I'm thankful she has a healthy Andersen body. Sooner than we expected we were expecting again! Kristen had to get here. I knew I was pregnant because I was morning sick while trying to make countless batches of English Toffee for Brad's wedding. People would see me holding Stephanie and say, "Oh, you're going to have two babies, huh?1?" and I'd think that no, Stephanie was old (a year and a bit). But I really did have two babies! I hoped that Stephanie would walk before Kristen was born. She barely did. They are 16 months apart. They were good buddies, then a great threesome when Lauralee came along. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Kristen was so excited to get here, but then she didn't want to be born. She was 18 days overdue, no matter what I did to try to get her here. But when she came she just wanted her mom and no one else for many years. I remember leaving her in Kindergarten, crying, trying to hold onto my leg. She finally got better when she was about 7 or 8. Her first night after birth the nurses did all they could to try to calm her, but finally brought her in to me. Kristen went straight to sleep. She just loved her mother, and knew her mother could protect her from the boogeymen.

Finishing Off Our Basement

I haven't written for a year and a half. That's awful. Well, we are in the middle of finishing off our basement. Sheena chose it for her senior project. She fulfilled her hours just packing up everything and taking it out to the Homestead. And there are so many hours yet to come! Lawrence and I shopped for almost everything at Home Depot last Saturday. It cost $1500, after a 10% discount for opening a Home Depot credit card. We get 5% of things we buy now. We will put a toy closet, a game closet, and a blanket closet in the hallway and finish off the furnace room with some new shelves and the old clear containers. I'm excited about it. Right now Lawrence is doing the electrical and filling and painting the cement walls of the furnace room. Then he'll do drywall and plywood for the closets. We'll do some type of flooring in the furnace room, too. We've been in the house almost 29 years so it's about time we finish the basement!